I am a city person. I like to walk to local shops and I like to have lots of options when it comes to cafes, dining, and nightlife. I’m decently active, but I’m not crazy about roughing it. Bike rides and picnics are my idea of the great outdoors. I like to exercise indoors in a gym. I am also social and like to meet lots of different kinds of people.
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| fitness, Thai style |
Taking all this into account, it should be clear that if I were to move to the countryside of any country for an extended length of time, I would be miserable. Moving to a new place means you have to be reasonably aware of yourself.
Remember that things are subjective. Before moving to Thailand I hated shopping malls. In Thailand though, malls are not merely consumerist meccas for rich teenagers. Malls are giant, centrally-located, air-conditioned meeting places. They are the only place you can walk in the daytime that is out of the relentless Thailand heat. Giant fashion malls are where families spend their Sundays and where local indie bands play night concerts.
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| students hanging out at Siam Paragon, one of the fancy malls in downtown Bangkok |
Malls also have some of the cheapest and best Thai “street food” available in the city. So even though I was never a fan, I often find myself at the mall in Bangkok. I had to adjust my expectations to fit the local culture.
There is nowhere in the world that you can move that will be exactly like your home. You need to be willing to try new things, revisit old things, and build your life in a completely new setting.
If your whole life revolves around surfing and it’s the only lifestyle that makes you happy, you can go lots of places in the world like Bali or Australia or California--but you cannot move to Slovakia and expect to be happy.
Explore your new home and find things to love about it. Build your life.
Social Life
Meeting people. I don't know how to give advice on building a social life.
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| friends + food = a good mix. meet your friendly neighborhood restaurant owners 😂 |
Social life just happens. If you are good at making friends, you can make them anywhere. If you are bad at making friends, moving to a new country is probably your worst nightmare.
Loneliness is inevitable for everybody, but it’s something you can work against. The first thing you can do is find activities that are similar to what you enjoyed back home. If you play volleyball, give takraw the Southeast Asian kickball game a try. If you are a gamer, try out the local video game cafes.
At first, you will meet other foreigners. It's a safe way to socialize and build community right off the bat. Naturally you will find it easy to connect with other expats and trade stories about being an outsider.
My suggestion is to make the effort to meet local people as well. You are living in their country. They have rich knowledge about history and societal intricacies. They can explain all the things that drive you up the wall and they will put a human face on all the culture shock you are up against.
When I moved to Thailand, I couldn't communicate the simplest of ideas, much less make a friend using the Thai language. I didn’t have Thai friends until later when my fluency was better. Still, most of them speak great English anyhow.
Start with your local shop people. The lady the runs the mini-mart, the noodle shop guy, the security guard at your apartment. Be their friends. They'll talk to you. Some of them have to--it's their job!
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| attending post-grad presentations in Thai--I understood less than 70%. still cool. |
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| For me, it takes a solid 4-6 months to make friends that I like. You know what I mean. |
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| the neighborhood shop lady that spoke Thai + traded candy with us for 4 years |
Not only will they offer valuable help when you are stuck, but perhaps one day you can return the favor by helping them too. If not, buy them gifts.
Language
Personally, I am committed to learning the local language. If you plan on staying more than 1 month, you should put forth the effort.
Daily life becomes much less daunting, prices go down, and people get nicer as soon as you start speaking the language. All of a sudden you can speak with regular people, not just the tourist touts. You also gain access to local culture, customs, and a whole different group of friends.
On a much less selfish note, it's the respectful thing to do.
Language
Personally, I am committed to learning the local language. If you plan on staying more than 1 month, you should put forth the effort.
Daily life becomes much less daunting, prices go down, and people get nicer as soon as you start speaking the language. All of a sudden you can speak with regular people, not just the tourist touts. You also gain access to local culture, customs, and a whole different group of friends.
On a much less selfish note, it's the respectful thing to do.
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| studying Khmer, the language of Cambodia |
If you never learn the language, you will be ignorant of things going on around you. The attitudes and the culture of a community are evident in the way they speak. It's called linguistic anthropology.
You may not end up fluent but you should have basic capabilities like politely ordering food, directing a taxi cab to and from your home, or introducing yourself. Maybe even reading signage and traffic signals.
Is it possible to move abroad and avoid the local language? Sure. In major cities, some people dont bother. You will survive, but with a limited view of the people, culture, and even entire parts of the country completely hidden from your view. Why not give it the old college try?
Click here to read the last part in the Ultimate Guide to Moving Abroad series.
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