who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

somebody's chuck norris impression

Our building is a fortress, and yet people are doing their best to break in. Neighbor Dave says the older couple living below us have been broken into before and another neighbor on the other side of him had a break-in too. The other day I saw a pair of "scumbags" in the hallway I had never seen in the building before. Maybe it's the economy but I think some people are turning to burglary...

Last week I was buzzed on the intercom from the front door. The woman's frantic voice on the other end claimed she was a Garda officer (police) and needed to be let in. I almost buzzed her in but hesitated. What if she was just a raging drunk lady who was trying to break in? I told her I would not buzz her in. She claimed a neighbor of mine had reported a burglary and the Guards wanted to catch them in the act. "How do I know you're telling the truth? I cant even see you. YOU might be the burglar!" I exclaimed. She was furious and demanded to be let in. Finally I said to her, "I'll come open the door where I can see you." On my way through the courtyard I saw three guards burst through the hallway--including a female officer (thankfully). The neighbors that live above us came shuffling out of the foyer and said the guards had plowed them over as they opened the door. Rude. In the end they just clomped around in the courtyard and didn't do anything. What a joke.

The newest evidence of hoodlums is this giant hole in the safety glass of our foyer. They didn't get in since they probably didn't get their hand past the glass. I am glad that we have TWO doors in the entryway so if the front one is caught, the intruders can only get into the foyer. I am also glad we live on the 2nd floor of the building and nobody has ever broken into our place. What would they steal? My ABBA album on vinyl? My four year old laptop that has trouble typing the letter "B" ever since I spilled sprinkles on the keyoard? Should I post a sign that says 'We do not own a telly as we refuse to pay the telly tax' just to be safe? Still, we have a loud and obnoxious alarm that should help out if we were to be burglarized. I've tripped it twice now on accident and almost had a heart attack both times. Dublin--what is going on?!